Friday, October 2, 2009

..... and I think I've got problems?

Skunk lost his job yesterday. When he got home he told us that the company where he's worked for twenty years no longer needs his services, effective immediately. Yes, just like that. When someone delivers bad news in real time, my senses go into slow motion, my mind blanks and a leaden fear seeps into my bones and settles into a hard, immovable knot in my stomach. That's how it felt when he broke the news yesterday. Noodle, crying a little, said, "Oh well, at least we'll have more time to play board games together." This, from a boy who's never liked board games. Legs began to jabber about mundane things that made sense only to her. We clutched each other for solace and muttered clichéd things that were so lame they fooled no one. Then I fled to the kitchen to choke back tears. I washed dishes that didn't need washing, and then cooked the most dreadful soup of my life. Cream of sludge with cremated bacon, I think. It was vile.

It's morning. I'm clear-headed despite the reckless quantites of vodka and red wine I drank last night. Legs and Noodle are in school. Skunk's gone to the office one last time, to tie up loose ends and wish his colleagues well, including the bastard who fired him, because that's just the kind of person Skunk is. The house is quiet and I'm finally alone. I've wallowed in the luxury of an outraged, self-pitying weep. I needed to. At least a dozen tissues' worth of tears, snot and seething frustration. My bag lady demons are back. Their talons are scritching at the door, they're cackling to be let in. They lie in wait for moments such as these. One wags a bony finger and sniggers that we have no savings. Bitch. As if I needed reminding. Another hisses in my ear that neither Skunk or I will ever find work again, that the fantastic company-sponsored health care and pension package we've enjoyed will dry up and we will grow ill and hungry and poor and end up on the street, that our children will stop loving us because we won't be able to give them the holidays and cool teenage stuff their friends enjoy.

Fuck off, demons. I know you too well. You're not going to win this time.

* * * * * * * 

In other news, people continue to suffer in my beloved homeland. An extreme typhoon packing winds of 220 to 240 kph is headed for the northeastern part of the Philippines and is expected to make landfall sometime tomorrow. The death toll from last week's floods in Manila and neighbouring provinces is approaching 300, with many more unaccounted for. Official figures put the number of homeless at half a million people, although friends actively involved in relief work believe it's much higher than that. Evacuation centres are full to bursting, there simply isn't enough food, water, medicine, blankets or shelter to go around. Cleanup crews are burning out. Peace and order is beginning to fray. While her countrymen drown and starve, Philippine President Gloria Arroyo parties with her sycophants. So many people have lost every single thing they have, and she parties.

All Skunk has lost is a job. I must remember that. I must remember that.

These 3 photos of the flooding in Manila were sent to me by a friend.  Photographer/s unknown.
Click on the individual photos to see them in more appalling detail, if you wish.


Anonymous said...

Send those bitch ass bag lady demons packing! Tell them I said fuck off. No one messes with my Baroness. No one.

If I could vote for anyone in the world who can breeze through this crisis, it would be you and the inimitable Were-gerbil.

Chin up, my love. Your family will prevail in the end. It's inevitable.

Anonymous said...

Ahh, Megatonlove, the way of the world, hits you when you least expect it? I am on with mnemosyne, let those bitch ass bag lady demons packing, HA! All will be well, Meg, all will be well. Another nights sleep, some zanax or valiums, and all will be well.

Waldo said...

As long as we have a roof to share, you are welcome here my friend. Our schools are not as good as Belgium's and your kids will end up wearing shitkickers and cowboy hats... Plus side? hhmmm, just 30 mins away from GW's Dallas home?
Ok I know, not much to offer!

Anonymous said...

Dear Megatonlove,

Wishing you feistiness for the fight, courage for the journey, patience for the waiting, and family happiness all the way. Skunk will prevail, and your indomitable spirit will be the family ballast. Legs and Noodle will remember this time of the family pulling together. They will remember it all their lives.

So be yourself, and vent your feelings and know that you have a far flung and loyal troop of friends who want and wish only the best for you and Skunk.

God Bless you all!

Loney Kitchen said...

Let your gift of words get you thru these trying times, Meg. Write till your pen dries out or your wrist starts to ache from punching the keyboard. Make our hearts ache and feel the flurry of emotions going on inside you right now. Let us live vicariously thru all your F-words. If words don't come easy then make the nastiest, most sinful food you can. You together with Skunk, Legs and Noodles will get thru this. Halong!

masadao said...

It's episodes like these that gives us strength of character. Hugs...

Megatonlove said...

I haven't returned to my blog until now, so THANK YOU for such kind and encouraging comments.

In the last 3 days I've found out that courage does not mean the absence of fear. Rather, it means finding a way to continue despite the fear. No matter what happens to us, we'll be okay. This experience is making our family stronger, and that can only be a good thing.

Zeusjoos said...

Meg, you always have a home while Nats & I do. We have an empty home in New Mexico that is yours if you want it.

Zeusjoos said...

Hold your fingers.

Megatonlove said...

Zeusjoos, that's so sweet. I'll come visit you one day - promise.

Rose said...

Meg, you and your family will be fine. Really. It may not seem like that right now, but you will.

In the meantime, practical stuff. If you aren't already, I'd suggest getting legal advice because making someone redundant on a moment's notice isn't fair - after 20 years' service, Skunk must be entitled to a proper notice period and a decent settlement.

You're a brave lady and you'll kick this one into touch, no problem. Give those demons a damn good bitchslap.

My thoughts are with you.

Naturelady said...

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family, as well as the Filipino people dealing with the aftermath of the natural disasters.

Hang in there, and keep writing if you can!

mitos said...

Megaton love,
just read this blog because I was wondering why you've been so silent. Let it out, write some more girl! Am hoping by now something brilliant and brighter has come your way!
Come home!?! OO nga, wait lang, after typhoon season. We can fix my first floor apt. for you. Tara!
love you woman!